Monday, September 20, 2010

Be a Carrot, Not an Egg

I've been going through something lately. A rough patch. A hard time. It's a natural cycle I suppose; a period of stretching and growth. But man, it's taken a toll on me.

The last few weeks have been just plain hard. It's one of those times when the balls are flying and I can't seem to keep control of them. (And yes, I have control issues). Mark is super busy with work and outside-of-work work. He has responsibilities that occupy his weeknights and weekends. And it will be this way for awhile. So I'm willing myself to get used to it. Owen is going through what I'll call "the terrible fours". We experienced the terrible twos and threes, so why not keep it going? Only difference is, he is pushing and resisting on a whole new 4-yr-old level. I guess I should be prepared for this by now, but I'm not. He breaks me down. And Gavin. Sweet Gavin. He is my shadow. I cannot make a move around here without Gavin attached to me. And while it's nice to be loved, I find it quite suffocating lately. Plus, he's decided it's time to assert himself and make his wants known. So his newest tricks involve high-pitched screams, dropping to the floor in agony, and banging his head on the closest object in sight (a trick Owen used to do) when he doesn't get what he wants.

So it's a culmination of things really. The aforementioned factors mixed with the daily duties of trying to keep the house in order, fulfill other responsibilities, and have some time (ANY time) for myself has just been exhausting.

I was recently reminded of a phrase. "The same boiling water that softens the carrot also hardens the egg." In other words, I can choose to react positively or negatively to these circumstances. And while I think I've reacted rather negatively thus far (read: wicked witch of the west), I am making a renewed effort to see the positive. I plan to slow down and enjoy this stage as much as possible. I plan to have renewed patience. I plan to not give up. And for goodness sake, I plan to be a carrot.


turleybenson said...

Sounds like someone needs a visit.

I'm mostly serious. I'm checking flights.

Abby said...

I would want a carrot for a heart and an egg for a brain.


Hang in there, my Bridgey Bridgertons.

I love you to pieces and I think you are one of the most amazing people ever.

For whatever it's worth...

Kimba said...

apparently my comment didn't stick! slippery thing.

so at first i was thinkin' you wanted to be an egg - sorta like the what doesn't killer you makes you stronger idea.

if there's anyone that can do it, it's you. and we're here to help!!

also, marissa, i take these comments seriously...